A Conversational Cacophony

Phew. What an entertaining, emotional, busy, lazy, stressful, annoying, exhilarating, heartwarming, heart mutilating, cacophonous day. To those who depend on my blog posts as a source of entertainment and/or spiritual enlightenment, I apologize for their recent infrequency. I spent the majority of the day on the phone with friends looking for clues, and the rest of the day in my delivery window, making new friends and talking about life (and Schlage locks). This one Saudi Arabian gentleman seemed truly enthralled by the concept of a lock (although I am under heavy suspicion that he was giving something completely different than what I was taking). (I think) we talked for nearly 20 minutes about (I think) his 4 year-old son’s ability to smile broadly and his apparent propensity for acting and singing (which is, coincidentally, my vocation)(I think), his hatred of Chinese people (I think), the “Schlage of Spain” (I think), his confusion over what the internet is (I think), and his opinion of how silly my entrapment is (I think). I think it went well. And I think I learned a lot.

I don’t remember eating dinner tonight. I think its because I’ve been so busy talking to people (and perhaps also that I ate two boxes of mac and cheese for lunch). I must say, although I have had an interesting and enjoyable week, I am ready to get out. I think, like any good marriage to an 98 year old rich man, you get in, love life, lose life, weep, and get out. The experience is hard (or not) at times, but you move on a richer, freer, and more well-rounded human. You miss the times and things you had and loathe the times and things you hated. Forgive and forget, right?

I’m nervous for tomorrow. I don’t know what’s in store, but I just imagine the clue leading the contestants to a giant pile of pitchforks, chains and torches. In my dream, they will then be instructed to tweet about their intended method of pain affliction with a hashtag #killTheGuy. They then must take a video of themselves singing “Kill The Beast” and post it on my Facebook page. Then they must play a modified version of “bop the mole” featuring my fragile head, all 9 of my first floor windows, and an arsenal of indestructible Schlage locks. We’ll see how it goes.

Well, I’m off to bed. Check back tomorrow (today?) morning for the clue. I cannot wait to embrace every willing soul upon my departure.

Sweat dreams, friends,



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